you know something , i have too much on my mind at times that i can not keep up with that all the time but when i actually start writing on paper, all my wisdom n all my thoughts blows with the wind ...
i have an intuition, or you can say i have made a resolution that
"i will pass my SAP(SD) certification with very very good grades."
i know i just have got only 1 week to prepare myself for this challenge and may be the hardest challenge for me so far.
Starting is always the hardest and may be i have been through the worst time of my life...i will have to come on front foot to change my future there in no other way out of this misery, i hate it to my guts.
this is it, no turning back from now ....which ever date today is i dont care, i want to move on and bring justice to my being. may be i have suffered less because of the blessings of my elders.
i read a very sensitive quote today stating "Out of suffering emerged the strongest; the most massive characters are seared with scars." i guess this quote justifies the misery or bad time for everyone of us. I don't see myself as any achiever so far but I promise myself today, i will work hard to prove myself that's it.
If i have been asked to note down the mistakes of my life, it will be a very long list of mistakes.
there was a great dialog in harry potter, " We all have almost the same resources, then what makes us different? out Decisions and Actions make us different from each other."
let me make a list of my mistakes which i will keep on editing and adding more mistakes.
- going to canada, hoping to find my destiny.
-coming back from canada and staying in india, again it was the same here. When my delusion for my destiny got shattered, i returned home; hoping for better results.
i stayed in india for the fulfillment of myself, for the satisfaction of life, love of my family members and friends.
- Not giving enough time, digging deep to my greatest powers and interests as a career and finally the path of life.
-ignoring the views of some of my best friends completely and holding back myself in every condition possible." In the end you regret only those things, which you didn't DO."
-neglecting the possibility of any business during college life, i have wasted most of my time doing non-productive (non-rewarding in terms of money) things. "Being productive is the most important of everything."
- I was thinking very high of myself and superior to everyone. I was very rude to people, always frustrated and with DON'T CARE attitude ( negative all the time ).
-I have run long enough after mirage of feelings and love. everything comes with a price and this shit took my grades, i got several( 4 ) ATKTs.
-Not knowing anything of the world of studying, lack of exploration ( again the same thing ego and superiority complex comes in the picture), this time i lost the chance of exploring my creative self. you know they say "you have already lost the battles you don't fight."
-After going to canada, i had big dreams like getting a field job soon as i finish my studies and getting freelance work of graphics and photography as i land there.which was very much overambitious behavior.
- I could not get any good job here in india, as my attitude was sky high about everything. At the end of the day money makes the difference, and i could not make any for one or the other reason.
-Things did not work out sometimes because of the situation, people, investment and mostly lack of hard work.
-there will be more in this list as i remember.
